March 2012
Announcer: THE ARTIST? TWO FOR YOU!
Harry Potter: bu-
Announcer: HUGO? FOUR FOR YOU, HUGO, YOU GO HUGO!
Harry Potter: uh-
Announcer: Is War Horse in the audience? Here you go, one for you...
Harry Potter: excuse me-
Announcer: AND NONE FOR HARRY POTTER BYE
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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
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manosukestoned420:
omfg i told my little brother that using the word “homo” as an insult isnt nice and noW HES ON XBOX LIVE AND HE KEEPS YELLING “YOU FREAKING HETEROSEXUALS” OMFG
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Watch
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tumbluser:
thelocalpaedo:
jesusjack:
what would jesus do
become a gamer girl
yes i’m the son of god
yes i play games :)
don’t hit on me silly hebrews xD
Fun Fact!
ghostbono:
t.u.m.b.l.r. actually stands for the types of posts you can use!(:
Text
Phouto
M‘Quote
Libnk
Chalt
Aurdio
(Video.)
jpegartifacts:
The gay agenda:
wake up
pray that Rick Santorum becomes gay
push straight people who are riding bikes off of their bikes
have gay lunch
go for a gay walk in the gay park
go to gay work and make gay money
go gay shopping
buy gay things
have gay dinner
pray that America will be destroyed
watch a gay television programme on a gay television set
go to sleep
have gay...
Watchnoplaceforagirlonfire:
acciogirlonfire:
katnss:
moriartea:
defeating:
localmyth:
god bless america
#why are you running towards me with a hammer she said
“what scientist came up with the days of the month”
why does this happen. just. why. why is this so funny. omg.
my dad turns 14 tomorrow
hehehehehehehe
#nobel prize for calendar reorganization
monocle-shark:
wafflewafflewafflewaffle replied to your post: i want to make a documentary where i go around…
gold
omg what if it gets nominated for an oscar
and i list every celebrity in it as co-director
and every single one of them gets an oscar
i would make so many dreams come true
#but i would purposely not include leo
kajfdlkajsdfjasdj
Michael Jackson: Annie are you okay
Michael Jackson: Annie are you okay
Michael Jackson: Annie are you okay
Michael Jackson: Annie are you okay
Michael Jackson: Annie are you okay
Annie: I'm fi-
Michael Jackson: ARE YOU OKAY ANNIE
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Our Diogenes Club Dialogue-Only Fanfic.
"..."
"..."
"..."
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So I got high and talked for ages to my professor and said some WEIRD things…
please always keep me away from weed
even though he was soooo nice about it
I shame-wrote my entire paper for him that night
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The Scribe Diaries: Library →
thelabyrinthsscribe:
Yes, I realize it’s midterm season. Yes, I realize I’m being a brat. Yes, I realize that bitching about this is [more than] slightly immature. Am I still going to rant? You bet!
Ok, I’m normally a pretty laid back kind of person, but I’m also a very structure-oriented person. I need a routine. I…
I work on that floor… If you want I could sing Carry On Wayward...
Watchidledylan:
vanilla-bliss:
saltydreams:
run-y0u-d0wn:
releasetheseagulls:
perfecttweapon:
sea-sh0re:
rest in peace.
i just laughed so hard
what the fuck i saw this on my dash 5 mins ago and it was at 2,000 notes
lol
im laughing more than i should right now…
always reblog!
FUCKING WATCH HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
aww hahahahhha
you will be forever missed <3 AHAHAHAHAHHA
crying...
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Imagine if we're all still on Tumblr in our...
walking-paranoia:
goodmorningmoon13:
‘My kid graduated today. Still shipping Johnlock.’
Never too old for reading gay porn.
CONSTANT VIGILANCE!: Harry Potter and the Times He... →
nevillethebamf:
“Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!”
“Well, I had one that I was playing Quidditch the other night,” said Ron, screwing up his face in an effort to remember. “What do…
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